Tainted
by PinkStarz
Summary: Rukia, of course the first time would hurt!" -Ichigo and Orihime unwillingly overhear an argument between Renji and Rukia.


Disclaimer: _Bleach_ belongs to Kubo Taito, not me...

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Tainted

"Rukia, of course the first time would hurt!" -Ichigo and Orihime unwillingly overhear an argument between Renji and Rukia.

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Kuchiki Rukia happened to be in a dreadful mood that morning. It seemed that no matter how loud she yelled or how much she destroyed, her anger could not be curbed.

Renji ducked another flying projectile and then took shelter behind a turned _tansu_. Unfortunately, his flaming hair wasn't fashioned into the most conspicuous design and Rukia easily found him. With a shout he managed to swerve from a chair aimed for his head and watched as it smashed into pieces. Hastily he searched for an exit while her eyes scanned the room for another potential weapon.

"Dammit, Rukia!" he cried out, surveying the damage and wondering what else she could possibly break. It was amazing how much havoc someone her height and weight could cause. "This isn't my fault!"

"Like Hell it isn't!"

It happened to be this morning that Kurosaki Ichigo and Orihime decided to make an untimely visit to the Soul Society. The lack of phones (nonetheless viable communication) made it impossible for them to arrange anything, and Orihime thought it rude to simply act like they had never met.

"We're friends!" she had cried out to a disinterested Ichigo. "They were kind enough to visit us! They... they even brought potpourri!"

"Yeah, and you call that a _normal_ wedding present?" Ichigo had muttered in a halfhearted response.

Rukia certainly did develop a strange taste when living on Earth, but unknown to them, she had become even stranger during their absence.

"I should have killed you years ago!" she was screaming, her voice heard distinctly by their visitors who stood nervously outside. There was a crash and then the sound of Renji shouting.

"Rukia, of course the first time would hurt!"

"It didn't hurt _you!_"

Mores crashes were followed by distinct swearing. Renji's colorful vocabulary was enough to make even the rogue Ichigo flush and he quickly covered Orihime's ears.

"I think we should come back another day..."

"What?"

He removed his hands. "I said, I think we should come back another--"

Renji's soulcutter crashing through the window cleanly cut Ichigo off and the couple stared at the sword before trailing their eyes to the broken window. Neither one moved to knock on the door and as much as they wanted to bolt on the spot, their ears perked at the next words drifting not so lightly out of the home.

"Will you keep still...!"

"Let go of me, you ape!"

"What did you call me?"

"Oww...! _Oww, _Renji, that _hurts!_ Don't touch me there, I'm still sore!"

Now it was Orihime's turn to flush rose and she turned nervously to Ichigo, who couldn't even look at her.

"Ah...He must have crushed her!" she suddenly cried out, her hands moving to her cheeks in horror. "He's _huge_ compared to her!" To emphasize her point, she stretched her arms out and widened her eyes dramatically. "After all, when we first--"

Ichigo lightly tugged on a lock of Orihime's citrus orange hair, a habit he had acquired when he wanted her to keep quiet. "Orihime..."

"...Sorry...but...but..."

"Listen, I don't want to hear about it, nonetheless _think_ about it..." He shuddered and tried to force down bad mental images. But he couldn't help but to wonder...

"...How would they, anyway?" Orihime piped, stealing the perverted thoughts straight from Ichigo's mind. "I mean, she's so small." Her palms moved close together. "And he's so tall..." They then extended and her eyes flickered up to Ichigo's and then both of them blushed. It seemed almost pedophilic in a sense.

"Heh, no matter what you say and what you try, you'll always be delicate, Rukia," Renji was saying loudly, suddenly audible again. Their brief silence could only make Ichigo and Orihime wonder what they had been doing for that moment in time.

"I still can't believe I let you talk me into doing it!" Rukia cried out.

"Oh come on, although it hurt, you want to do it again, don't you?" Orihime's eyes widened.

"Not with you!"

"That's it...!" Fully annoyed and unwilling to let their trip go to waste, Ichigo took in a deep breath and knocked on the door. The fighting suddenly stopped and then there were inaudible whispers. A moment later the door opened, Renji standing amongst the chaos that used to be a living room.

"Yo."

"What the hell was going on in there?" Ichigo demanded despite Orihime pulling on his arm in an attempt to keep him quiet.

"...Nothing."

"Where's Rukia?"

Renji sighed and cast his dark eyes heavenward, knowing that Ichigo was not going to back down until he saw his friend. He moved aside, allowing Ichigo and Orihime the chance to try to step inside. They moved carefully, and quite unnecessarily so considering it wouldn't make a difference if they broke something else.

Rukia was sitting on the futon, an icepack on her abdomen and an expression of annoyance on her face that quickly dissolved upon sighting them.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked but was answered with a question of their own.

"What did he do to you!" Orihime cried out, running up to Rukia and kneeling down in front of her. "Are you okay? Why didn't you wait until _marriage_!"

"What?" She looked to Ichigo for an answer but found that his eyes were focused on the floor.

"Jeez, Rukia... I thought you had better taste than _him!"_ With the last statement, he pointed vehemently at a bewildered Renji.

"What the hell is wrong with you guys?" Renji demanded.

"We heard everything..." Orihime admitted, blushing again and casting her eyes low. "Ah... about you and Rukia... And her first time..."

"So you know?" Rukia seemed mortified for a moment but after closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she shrugged off her emotions. "Oh, fine. What's the point of having it if no one can see it, right?"

"Eh?"

Grabbing Orihime by the hand, Rukia dragged her to another room. Ichigo was prepared to follow but Renji swiftly blocked the way. "Women only, pervert."

"_You're_ the pervert, taking advantage of Rukia like that!"

"_She _wanted it! She felt like she was the only one without one!"

"One...?"

A moment later, Rukia and Orihime emerged from the room, both smiling widely.

"It looks like on you, Kuchiki-san!" Orihime exclaimed and Rukia flushed.

"Really...? It still hurts, though..."

Renji scoffed. "I told you you're weak. She almost started to cry halfway--" His statement was rewarded with a whack to the head, one they assumed was an addition to many others.

"Wait, wait, so what the hell is going on here?" Ichigo demanded, hating that he was the only one out of the loop.

"Oh, that!" Orihime laughed slightly and gestured to Rukia. "Kuchiki-san got a tattoo!"

"...And _that's_ what you were so upset about?"

"If Nii-san found out, he would disown me... not to mention it hurts..."

"That's the stupidest... Orihime, we're leaving...!" Grabbing the bewildered woman by the hand, Ichigo stormed out of the house and left the tattooed pair alone, who were too surprised at the sudden departure to protest.

"...What were they thinking, anyway?" Rukia asked, stepping up to Renji. He placed his arms around her and shrugged.

"Beats me."

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**End.**


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